Okay so it has been quite a few months that I actually avoiding myself to grief of quitting my pupillage session. Now as I sit in my bedroom, the cut is so deep that I just refuse to do anything.
It is so hard to accept the fact that I gave up my dream and surrender myself to love. Well, as I grew older, nothing would make me happier than to enjoy a plastic glass of chocolate frappe. Ya know when someone did hurt me, so the best I could do to heal myself is by diverting the hurtful emotion to the things that actually tasted so good – for instance, as I said before, the chocolate frappe.
As the social media were busy sharing stories of few successful women these days, I am just sitting here and think of how am I going to survive for the next 10 years. I have zero debt, well exceptions for my current ShopeePayLater account and of course my previous student loan when I was in IIUM.
I am pretty sure that, at this stage of age, I am not going to wake up in the morning and heading to work. I just need to figure out how to make a living by working from home.
So yeah, instead of torturing myself, I need to do something. I need to refresh my bedroom first cause it is the only place that I have to clear things out – my personal space of course. Right now, it is all in a mess but I am in the state of whatever.. So lucky me that someone really do understand the grieve that I am grieving of. I am so sorry to put you through all these mess. Thank you for these whole week I am so grateful to have you even though sometimes you were such a pain in the ass.
Love ya!
Sharifa. 